Why We Keep Arguing With Them In Our Head

And what it’s really trying to tell you about your nervous system and your sense of safety.

You ever notice how you’re still having the conversation long after the person is gone?

You’re in the shower, in the car, lying in bed—still replaying what you wish you said, how they were wrong, how unfair it was.
You keep trying to get the last word, to prove your point, to be understood.
But it never works.
You just keep looping.
Why?

Because your body doesn’t know the conversation is over.

Here’s what’s actually happening:

That argument in your head is your nervous system still trying to resolve something that wasn’t emotionally completed.
It’s your system reaching back into the past, searching for resolution, fairness, clarity, or even just the safety of being seen.

But you’re not arguing with them.
You’re arguing with the feeling that got left behind.
The feeling of being dismissed.
Misunderstood.
Violated.
Powerless.
Invisible.

This is why “just let it go” doesn’t work.

You can’t let it go when it’s still living in your body.
Because your body doesn’t resolve things by thinking—it resolves them by feeling, expressing, and being present with the discomfort that got left behind.

When someone says something that hits a nerve, and you freeze, shut down, or walk away but never process it?
The body holds onto that moment like an open tab.
Your mind keeps circling it, trying to close the loop.

But it can’t.
Because you’re still trying to resolve an emotional wound with mental logic.

What you actually need is presence, not a better comeback.

That loop in your head isn’t asking for revenge.
It’s asking for you—to sit with what it brought up.
To tend to the feeling that no one else did.
To let your nervous system complete the experience, not by winning the argument, but by showing yourself:
“I’m here now. I can handle this feeling. I don’t need to outsource my peace anymore.”

Here’s what to try next time the loop starts:

• Pause and drop into your body.

• Ask: What am I actually feeling right now?

• Instead of trying to rewrite the scene—breathe into the emotion under it.

• Don’t rush to fix it. Just stay.

You don’t need to be right.
You don’t need to win.
You just need to stop leaving yourself every time discomfort shows up.

That’s what The Loyal Self is about.
It’s not about being unbothered—it’s about being with yourself so consistently that your system finally starts to feel safe again.

Because when you can stay with yourself through the intensity—there’s no more argument.

Not in your head.
Not in your heart.
Just space.
Just clarity.
Just peace.

** This post was written by Chatty G, not me. It’s just a placeholder until I write the post myself.

The Loyal Self

You’re Not Lost—You’ve Just Been Disconnected from Yourself

What The Loyal Self is really about, and how it can change everything.

Most people aren’t stuck.
They’re just disconnected from their inner presence.

Not because they’re doing anything wrong—
but because no one ever taught them how to stay connected to themselves when it actually matters.

That’s what The Loyal Self is about.

When I talk about being loyal to yourself, I don’t mean bubble baths and pep talks.
I mean real, grounded, steady self-relationship.
The kind where you learn how to stay with what you’re feeling instead of checking out, shutting down, or spiraling into old patterns.

It’s the kind of loyalty that says:
“I can stay with me—even here. Even now. Even when it’s uncomfortable.”

That moment? That’s where everything shifts.

When we were babies, emotions were our first language.
We cried, reached, shook, laughed—all to communicate what we needed.
And when someone came close, soothed us, touched us, or even just stayed near—our nervous system settled.
That’s how we learned safety.

But as we grew, that emotional language got pushed aside.
We were told to be good. Use our words. Be strong. Pull it together.
So we did.
We learned how to look okay on the outside while feeling completely lost on the inside.
And eventually, we stopped knowing how to respond to our own internal experience at all.

Instead, we:

• Numbed with food or distraction

• Got busy fixing, overworking, pleasing

• Spiraled into thinking loops

• Felt off but didn’t know why

We tried to think our way into peace—but peace is a felt state.
And thoughts can’t bring us back to it.
Only presence can.

That’s what The Loyal Self helps you remember.
How to return to yourself.
How to sit with discomfort without running.
How to build the kind of emotional consistency that makes your nervous system feel safe again.

Because once you know how to stay steady inside your own experience, everything else gets clearer.

You stop chasing.
You stop proving.
You stop performing.
You start making choices from the part of you that knows.

When you practice loyalty to yourself, here’s what begins to shift:

• You move from reactivity to clarity

• You stop living on autopilot and start responding with intention

• You develop deep self-respect—and it shows in every part of your life

• You feel rooted—even when life isn’t calm

• You create a life that reflects who you actually are

So no—there’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re just reconnecting.
You’re remembering how to listen to yourself again.
Not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s not.

This is the work.
Not becoming someone new—
Becoming someone who shows up for themselves. Consistently.

You.

If this speaks to you, stay close. Watch the videos. Let the message sink in.
The Loyal Self is not just a concept. It’s a way of being.
And it changes everything.

** This post was written by Chatty G, not me. It’s just a placeholder until I write it myself.